STFU, babies

interweber: reasonsmysoniscrying: The slide is not slippery...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 00:28:51 -0400

interweber:

reasonsmysoniscrying:

The slide is not slippery enough.

I love this blog.

our work here is done.

summeromegadeth: jhermann: abloodymess: old people...

Sun, 10 Feb 2013 11:56:21 -0500

summeromegadeth:

jhermann:

abloodymess:

old people blow.

/tagged/me

PICTURED: Summer of Megadeth interacts with someone from LA.

set em up, knock em down

Chloe Contradiction Meme via evangotlib

Mon, 24 Dec 2012 13:23:03 -0500

Chloe Contradiction Meme via evangotlib

Via guest of a guest.

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:55:21 -0400

Via guest of a guest.

summerofsweaterweather: ANNOUNCING: TONIGHT AT THE BLARNEY...

Sat, 29 Sep 2012 19:09:13 -0400

summerofsweaterweather:

ANNOUNCING: TONIGHT AT THE BLARNEY COVEN A FAMILY FRIENDLY EVENT BRING THE LITTLE ONES FREE BABY BOTTLE OF HYPNOTIQ TO QUIET THE PESKY BRATS SEE YOU SOON FUCK OFF!

Let the babies decide.

Sat, 15 Sep 2012 08:59:44 -0400

Let the babies decide.

officialssay: Obama being chased by a toddler. she symbolizes...

Fri, 10 Aug 2012 10:54:52 -0400

officialssay:

Obama being chased by a toddler.

she symbolizes the tea party

meredithbklyn: President Barack Obama holds a baby while...

Thu, 09 Aug 2012 16:42:38 -0400

meredithbklyn:

President Barack Obama holds a baby while greeting guests during an Independence Day celebration on the South Lawn of the White House, July 4, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

You heard the White House. Do not under any circumstances make this picture into a meme!

thedaddycomplex: BOOM! Here’s an all new episode of Fighting...

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 16:38:12 -0400

thedaddycomplex:

BOOM! Here’s an all new episode of Fighting with Babies, now in glorious HD.

It clocks in at about 90 seconds, so you have no excuse not to watch it.

No excuses!

sarahchristine: brookehatfield: my sister loves ‘em and leaves...

Sun, 29 Jul 2012 12:57:00 -0400

sarahchristine:

brookehatfield:

my sister loves ‘em and leaves ‘em.

This photo is a perfect photo.

get over it little kid

bobbyfinger: (via Drunk Baby: Another Damn Baby Advice Meme |...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 17:30:06 -0400

bobbyfinger:

(via Drunk Baby: Another Damn Baby Advice Meme | Slacktory | This seems legit.)

This seems legit.

vicemag: ATTN: CRYBABIES You. Specifically you. You are a...

Mon, 25 Jun 2012 15:12:08 -0400

vicemag:

ATTN: CRYBABIES

You. Specifically you. You are a crybaby. I am talking directly to you. I know you. You know, good old “Your Name.” Hey. You’re a big time crybaby.

I know this for a fact. Correct me if I’m wrong, but as you’re reading this aren’t you a little upset that I just called you a crybaby? A little part of you is saying “I’m not a crybaby, this guy is wrong” or “Man, what a bummer that this guy is so negative about calling people crybabies; you know, loosen up, guy” or “This hilarious guy must be talking about some crybabies that are not me, ha ha ha” or “I see what this guy is trying to do here. Nice try, guy trying to do a thing, I’m too smart for that.” Guess what? All of those responses mean one thing and one thing only: “booo hoo hoo, I am a crybaby.”

That’s how I know you are one. A crybaby.

I know what I’m talking about. I have full authority to ask the question: “Why are you such a fucking crybaby, huh?“ I am an expert on crybabies. You know why? Because I say so and I’m here and you’re not. Okay? I am allowed to call you a crybaby. I’m on the internet. Right now. I’m occupying this space on the internet and you’re not, and this space is permanently reserved for me calling you a crybaby. Think of it as a sign that says “CRYBABY” under a mirror, and the only thing you can see in it is YOUR FACE. I put the sign up. It’s my sign. I get to do this because I thought of it and you didn’t. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing. Nothing but cry me a river made of baby tears. You can’t change the fact that I just called you a crybaby. You’re too late. I’m already here.

Crybabies are made of two things: crying, and babies. The term “crybaby” is itself a colloquial shortening of the phrase “crying baby.” Hey, did you know that? “Crybaby” comes in handy because that’s what all people are all the time no matter what these days. Including, especially, you.

You know why?

Because thanks to boring technical explanation, everybody everywhere these days doesn’t have to expose themselves to anything they don’t like, and if they don’t like something they get to tell the whole world about it instantly right there on the spot. Did you know that? I bet you did, you fucking crybaby. I bet you tweeted all about it. I bet the last time you were in the grocery store line behind a lady with Elephantiasis arguing about the expiration date on a coupon for fabric softeners, you tweeted and tumblred and texted and Facebooked and blogged your little stupid baby head off about it. Tweeted like a crying baby who cries when something’s not right and they don’t know what to do about it except cry.

I know that’s what I did.

KEEP READING

This really says it all.